With every letters I wrote, 

contain each and every of my feelings unshown and unspoken.

When I was younger, I always like to keep a diary. And I always have a habit of updating it everyday. And I'll read them over and over. Cried over what I been through. Laugh at how foolish I have been. Its really silly but I like reading my past entries over and over again. Its just that, I switched to online diary which everyone call "blogging" but sadly I couldn't write/pin down my personal stuffs online. Neither do I have the time to physically write my thoughts, my feelings on a book of my own diary anymore. 
So I actually burned/tear up all my old diary. 
Past is the past. What lies in my future, only god know. 

Started blogging when I'm a teenager I think. Where every girl's blog their feelings and craps online. Where every girl wants to be more popular, prettier than another. I still remember I've "haters" aka "anonymous" posting on my then tag board saying how "copycat" I was to copy this and that or whatever shit. I can't remember. But I do remember me getting upset about it. Its like why is people finding fault with me or even hating me for no reason at all? Used to cry and get freakin' depressed then. Thinking that the whole world hates me or something but now? IDGAF, MUTHUAFUCKERS! I grow up and out of the depressed dumb shit. With people trying to pull me down blah blah blah. Try harder. Meh. Not affected by words anymore. I am titanium baby! Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones but nothing brings me down. 
HAHAHAHA! Whatever. I am just being lame.

 Ain't into the blogger's huha. Neither do I blog about fashion, food, giveaway's, tutorial's or whatever shit. Blogging is merely my online diary where I pin down whatever I want. Because I like it. I blog about how I feels, what I think and shitty random things I can think of. What you read here is what you get in my brains, in my mind. I don't care what others say. I say what I like and do what I want. 
Love me, hate me. Not my problem. 
I'm lovin' it~


Been blogging for so long, I kinda been keeping to myself for that long too. I don't really share my thoughts/emotions/feelings/troubles to people. And I find it hard to. Its like I can type alot, rant alot but when it come to sharing my troubles...I am lost for words and usually I'll end up not talking at all. Maybe this is the why I always like to stay away, keep my distance, run into a small corner and be alone. Yeah, its kinda a bad habit for me. Whenever I'm upset, I like being alone. I'd just "disappear" and only appear when I feels like it. I share joy, not sorrow. I never like to show how upset I am, how hurt I am. More like that kinda girl who will smile to everyone where I will most likely cry myself to sleep. Yes, that kinda girl. But whenever I am happy, I love to be around people. Happy people around me makes me feel happier. And looking at happy people just bring a smile on my face. 


I don't know why but I always like to sit by the beach whenever my emotional stirs up. Water/ocean/sea always seems to calm me down. The smell of the sea, the sound of the wave, the wind blowing against my hair. I can sit there for hours and hours. Just me, the sea, the sky and the sand. I used to be that kinda person who can't stand being alone not to say being lonely. I just can't be alone, period. Everywhere I go, everything I do. I just can't go anywhere alone or do anything alone. But as I grow up, I learn how to. And I'm used to it. Shopping alone, going here and there alone. In fact, I like my "me time" Time where I can be alone, doing stuffs I wanna do. No one to disturb me. No one to bother me. Just me, myself and the time on my own. Or simply, just give me a book. I can keep my nose in it for hours. Speaking of which, I should start reading soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe, sometimes being alone isn't a bad thing after all.

After all, we all ends up alone.

Till then,

xoxo