I wanted everything to stay the same. 

But feelings fade and people change.

Disclaimer : This post is just merely a ranting plus a little update about the daily on going shit of my everyday life. It ain't related to anyone in particular. Nor does it trying to mean anything related to anyone. No photos, just words. Just a long naggy ranting post. Blah.

So here I am decided to rant here instead of on my facebook wall or my twitter account. Too mainstream. Was actually in pain, in and out of the toilet a zillions time. I didn't count. I would if I ever remember. No, ain't having some diarrhea shit. Just this abdominal pain/menses cramp I have been suffering lately. Should have get more painkillers pills from the doctor. Oh well, suffering to be woman aye. Every month have to go through this shitty cramps. Just that, this month hurts even more than ever. Took a couple of hours to type this entry as the pain come and go. Felt better now though but who knows, the pain might come back later. Oh hell. Kill me now please.

Still remember I post this on my twitter account recently : Posting "emo" quotes/tweet doesn't means I am "emo". Just felt that, it's somehow related to me/my life. Is that wrong? If that's wrong...Well, fuck you. The last time I remember, its my mind, my fingers, my account. I post whatever I want and whenever I like. Idgaf whether you/you all like it or not. I say/post how I feel, what I think and what I think its true/related to me/my friends/anyone at all. People judge, everyone judge. So why should I care what you/you all thinks? Who are you/you all to judge? Who are you/you all to tell me what to do/live my life? Just remember this : 

I never had any problem with anyone till they have a problem with me.

I don't live to please anyone or even everyone. 

Hate me, love me. Envy me. You can never be me.

By your truly.

Regrets? Mistakes? Losing? Winning? 

Yes, I've been there. Done that. Been through that and managed to live through it. Everyone have their own past/painful route's in life. Ups and downs. Fall's after fall's. Pain after pain. Get up but to fall again. Get up again to fall once more. Some make it through, some doesn't, some is still going through it, some thought they make it through but actually, they are still living in it. Whatever make you or me or us fall, makes us stronger than before. Making so much mistakes in life causing me to have regrets just simply taught me not to repeat the same mistake's twice. I don't regret going through whatever I have gone through, I only regret wasting time and effort on the wrong people. That is my mistake. Humans are bound to make mistakes no matter how old you are or whatsoever shit. You get the drill. I learn to learn from my mistake's. And I learn how to cherish and treasure whatever/whoever I have now. Yes, through the hard way. No longer wants to have any regret's in life. After all, life's short. Life's fragile. Live life to the fullest. What if today is your last day and tomorrow was too late. Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

---

I'm tired of rumors starting. I'm sick of being accursed. I'm tired of people lying. Sayin' what they want about me. I just wanna be me. I don't understand why.

Would you wanna bring me down. Cause I just want a little room to breathe. Can you please respect my privacy?

You can't stop talking about me. You can't stop tweeting about me. You can't stop bitching about me. You can't stop gossiping about me. You can't stop writing about me. You can't stop looking me. You can't stop staring at me. You can't stop commenting about me. You can't stop me. I got a life. You should get some of your own. So get out of my way.

Blah blah blah.

Just like any girl's/human's out there, I get insecure and paranoid too. Yes, I do. All the time. Well, I can't help it. Constantly, I'll feel that I ain't good enough. I ain't perfect. Nobody is. Not you. Not me. Imperfection's everywhere. I often question and doubt myself. Often procrastinating, wonders and think beyond the line. "Think too much" is what other's often used to describe me.  Yes, I admit I think alot and I think too much. I can't be left alone, that's when my mind will wonder into space and assumption took over my mind. I do feel shitty about myself at times and at another, I simply can't be bothered. People are just so judgemental. They judge, they comment and they find things (anything) to hate about. I never can understand why are people hatin' over the slightest thing. Even things/people that doesn't concern them at all. I never can imagine how people can just say/comment something hurtful to other's without knowing how much words can kill. No even the slight guilt, none at all. With people making reality harder to live in, to survive in. Where is the love?

Note to self :

"Let hater's bring you higher and embrace those who love you. 

You gotta know that, there will be people who hate you and love you as well."

P.S : Less judgement, less hating. More lovin', shall we? 

I'm bound to gain more hater's/hate comment's after this post.

*facepalm *